Dear husband(A.K.A.)dickface,
Here we are going on 11 years together and I gotta tell ya that I'm more miserable now with you than I ever have been. It's because I'm older and I thought wiser but apparently not because I'm still with you. Do you remember when I left you back in September? I'm sure you do because you remind me of your pain on a daily basis. Well I kept a journal then and I wrote down everything at that time and today I was reading it and I swore then I would never go back to you. Someone would have to drag my dead corspe back to you or that's right, you took my daughters away so I had to come back. I thought maybe I could be real and make this work. I even married you to seal the deal or my fate for that matter. BUT here we are and everything is shit again. I have to beg you for cigarette money, I'm having to beg you for a $100 to get my license back, but you ain't budging are you? And during all of this, your being warned. I am sick and tired of you treating me like a child, controlling me, and forcing your will upon me. Those things right there have made my heart cold towards you and very few people understand this. Why do you have to be like this? Why do you have to make me hate you when all I want to do is love you? You won't let me love you. And through all of this, I have no regrets. (I understand that now Joy)because when I finally meet that man that breaks the foundation I stand on, then I can thank you for all the mistakes I won't make with him.
Love, your wife
I have spent every life before this one searching for you. Not someone like you, but you, for your soul and I must always come together. A romantic, mother, friend and observer of life....these are my thoughts, poems, and struggles
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- I am 34, I have 3 daughters and I live in the mountains of Virginia
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3 comments:
I am kind of glad to hear that he has told you that you hurt him with the September thing. At least thats some acknowledgement of you being something more then the babysitter of his children.
But nevertheless, I know and YOU know that for 100 percent sure there is a man out there for each of us, that will be a good one and appreciate all the mistakes we are learning from daily.
I want you to take away the hope because that's the thing that's killing me.
Denis Leary
Thats a funny quote to me, but doesnt it feel so true at this point. No problem, we are too strong to get it kill us, instead we use it for our benefit, it sustains us.
Everyone had to go through one rat bastard before they find their sole mate. Trust me...My Ex was an A-class Asshole. My husband is the other half of me and I wouldn't change my past for all the world if it means that I wouldn't meet my husband.
Wow C...
What can I say except that which does not kill us only makes us stronger. I know I don't really know you very well but I'm sure that if your a friend of Joy's you are a kind and compassionate soul too. The right one is out there for us all and all I have left is the hope that I'll one day find or be found by them.
But I have lots of time to contemplate my life alone and its not really all that bad, good thing I enjoy my own company lol.
I suppose I'm on a quest to have that one elusive relationship that I should be having and that is the relationship with me.
Peace
K
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