Friday, September 28, 2007
Damn it!!
I am aggravated, frustrated, pissed off and then I read Kuan's blog and all these feelings just melted away. I know in my heart that when your around someone that is constantly cussing you out, screaming at you, and saying the most horrible things to you that it is THEIR sickness and it is nothing you have done. I have lived with this bullshit on a daily basis for almost 12 years now and I wonder how much more? The only thing that gets me through is knowing that one day it will not be like this. I will have my freedom on many different levels. Alot of my blogging is unloading all this shit to the wonderful people that read it. I thank you for listening and being supportive of me.
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1 comment:
Cat you are loved....
Its funny I think that we take on other peoples regurgitated hatred, bitterness and dissatisraction in life. That we were wounded deeply at one point in our lives that we feel we "are" the cause of all others problems, that we "deserve" the shit they heap upon us.
Fact is....
WE DON'T
I am not the result of your years of anger, dissapointment, hatred, bitterness, I did not perpetuate this cycle for you nor do I subscribe to having it dumped upon me.
I pray, I pray for others (especially those that truely bum me out) to have every thing I pray for, peace,honor, love, compassion.
I don't pray for patience or tolerance any more as the univers just puts me in positions to have to endure it until I learn it.
No one deserves to be another persons dumping ground of bile and I"m at a point in my life that I simply rufuse to be. It has taken years of therapy,yoga, meditation, reading buddhist philosophy, ponderance and compassion to avail myself of feeling like I need to unscrew my head and let people shit down my throat.
I love you Cat... never forget
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