A Happy Mothers Day

I'm on the happy train again! It's not the happiest train, but it will do. These feelings are choices, right? But I'm thinking that emotions come in waves. Whether we realize it or not, we are feeling other peoples' shit! I have been praying to God and the angels to get me out of this rut I have been in for about 4 months. Right now I am peering over the edge and into the light and I think everything is going to be okay. I'm going to the beach next month and I am so freakin excited about it!! We are going to Gulfshores, Alabama, the gulf of Mexico in all its wonder and vastness. I swear in a past life I lived on a island somewhere, because when I'm at the beach I am at peace...with everything. I look forward to sitting on the beach early in the morning, all by myself, just staring out into the ocean. I love the smells and I just feel closer to God when I'm sitting by the ocean. I have been through so much shit in the last 4 years, the jail and all the problems Tony and I have had, and being away from my children, I so desperately need this retreat.
I do have a good life and I know that I have written on this blog that my husband is a bastard and so forth and so on...Tony is a good man and if you look at our history together you will find that it is I that has done shit and not him, but this man is so hard to live with and it takes everything in me not to "go all out up in my house" on his ass! He is 11 years older than me and he like to be some one's "daddy". That is all I am going to say about this.
On a brighter note, I have a myspace now. Didn't think I would ever do it because I am not a myspace kind of gal, but I did and a friend helped me out with it and I love it now. I got some really awesome pictures on it that mean the world to me.
My kittens are 2 months old and holy schnykie are they something else. There are 3 black ones (boys) and 2 girls which turns out they are called tortoise shell cats. They are so cool and they have been my little buddies lately and when 4 of them go I'm going to be very sad. Kendell decided early on that we were keeping one of the girl cats. As it was coming out she said "that's the one I want". The rest is history. I do have some advice though, only take in a pregnant cat if you have a barn out back.
And on a even brighter note, today is my nannies birthday. Happy Birthday Nanny!! I love you with all my soul.